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College Humor

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It's sometimes stupid, sometimes intelligent but always funny! College Humor offers quick links to amusing pictures and videos that will have you rolling!
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Tons of hot college chicks and humorous multi-media files for download inside! Plus tons of pop culture and celebrity talk to keep you occupied! This is the cream of the crop variety blog, there are so many out there but none can surpass the quality of the good folks at College Humor! They also feature articles, games, and other hot items on the blog that you simply can't miss!
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[v]Latest College Humor news
Date: 04.24.2017
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Date: 04.21.2017
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Date: 04.21.2017
Listen, I love the Harry Potter books and films (and even a few of the games - for real, that Quidditch game for Gamecube was pretty rad) - but I still recognize they have one big flaw: Harry Potter, the character, sucks. He's mostly just extremely lucky and has other people saving his ass CONSTANTLY, all while he wastes time and screws up non-stop. So to reflect this, we decided to give more honest names to the Harry Potter books and films - and we ?think this makes things a lot clearer: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (or Sorcerer's Stone, if that's your thing) Sure, Harry Potter is the supposed "chosen one", but what does he actually do for himself? His mom sacrifices her life to protect him (although to be fair, it's not like he coulda done anything as a baby) Hagrid rescues him from the Dursleys He finds out he's just super rich without having to do anything He completely screws up and misidentifies Snape as the evil teacher The Mirror of Erised pretty much just HANDS Harry the Philosopher's Stone without him really doing anything The only reason he got that far anyways is thanks to the quick thinking and sacrifices of Ron and Hermione He beats Quirrell by having his skin just automatically burn him - Harry doesn't even really know how to fight back or do anything proactively Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Harry's lucky streak continues in the Chamber of Secrets, where? The Weasleys rescue Harry from the Dursleys Harry finds out he can just automatically speak Parseltongue without having to do any learning or work or anything Hermione's the one who figures out the Polyjuice Potion Instead of doing anything to combat Professor Lockhart, Harry gets super lucky that he just happened to pick up Ron's messed up wand and gives himself Magical Dementia Harry gets insanely lucky that Fawkes flies in and just, like, HANDS him the Sword of Gryffindor Harry does manage to fight the Basilisk on his own, but is saved once again by Fawkes (when the tear heals him) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban When all appears to be lost, HARRY IS JUST HANDED A TIME TRAVEL DEVICE. COME ON. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire First off, it is INSANE how convoluted Voldemort and Barty Crouch Jr.'s scheme is - and even more insane how Harry manages to fall right into it. Harry has someone else put his name into the Goblet of Fire because DUH he's not worthy at all Harry can't really figure out ANY of the tasks on his own, and it is only through the manipulation and constant assistance of Crouch Jr. that he makes it through any of them (I know this is the point of the trap, but it really draws into focus how ill-equipped Harry is for everything) Harry gets super lucky that Voldemort's wand doesn't work against him, and is somehow able to escape a graveyard full of Magic Nazis WHILE CARRYING A DEAD BODY He falls into ANOTHER trap (going away alone with Mad Eye Moody) and is saved by Dumbledore, Snape, and McGonagall.? Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Harry is so bad at everything, it's INSANE. His ONE TASK this time around is to focus and learn Occlumency to protect his mind from Lord Voldemort - aka MAGIC HITLER. That's the ONE THING he's supposed to do...and he never does it. He never even really tries. And, as a result, he falls into ANOTHER trap, where Sirius Black dies and all of his friends are nearly killed. Hermione's cleverness is what saves Harry from Umbridge Oh yeah - Harry doesn't even get to be the one who smashes the prophecy to keep it from the Death Eaters - Neville is (Neville is a more proactive, skilled character than Harry ever is) Dumbledore saves Harry from Voldemort, because Harry sucks at everything Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Harry frickin' Potter: The idiot who spends an entire year sorta looking into a mystery about a "Half-Blood Prince" and never figures it out or even comes CLOSE Even though he suspected Draco of bad things for the whole year, he's unable to stop the thing Draco was ACTUALLY up to (Harry is incredibly bad at investigating anything) Oh yeah, he also spent most of the year being horny for his best friend's LITTLE SISTER, which is a DICK MOVE, BRO Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows I do not get why Harry Potter is the main character of these books and not Neville Longbottom. Neville's the one who actually works hard, tries to improve himself, has the odds stacked against him, has no one who really praises him or believes in him, and is dealing with REAL pain (seeing his parents in their states of catatonic shock vs. knowing your parents died stopping Magic Hitler and imbuing you with magic protection). And while Harry does a solid job at tracking down the Horcruxes, it's the ending that seals the deal: Harry gets killed pretty easily - but then finds out he gets an extra life because HE was a Horcrux He literally plays possum and PRETENDS to be dead instead of doing something about the final Horcrux - Voldemort's snake, Nagini Who kills Nagini? Who confronts Voldemort when he is at his most arrogant? NEVILLE FUCKING LONGBOTTOM, WHO STANDS UP TO MAGIC HITLER AND SLICES HIS SNAKE UP WITH A DAMN SWORD. And how does Harry Potter finally defeat his mortal enemy in their final battle? HE DOESN'T. Voldemort mistook the chain of custody of the wand he had, which caused it to shoot back and kill him. It's the equivalent of him holding a gun and accidentally aiming it backwards. Harry barely does ANYTHING. In short, I hope someone remakes all of these movies, but starring Neville. read more
 
Date: 04.25.2017
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Date: 04.19.2017
1. Trying To Sleep 2. Saving Money? 3. Acting Mature 4.?Dealing With Idiots? 5.?Trying To Remember Basic Stuff ? 6. Coping With Anxiety? read more
 
Date: 04.19.2017
1. Trying To Sleep 2. Saving Money? 3. Acting Mature 4.?Dealing With Idiots? 5.?Trying To Remember Basic Stuff ? 6. Coping With Anxiety? read more
 
Date: 04.19.2017
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Date: 04.19.2017
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Date: 04.19.2017
He's new to the scene, and boy does it show. Watching him try to come to terms with his sexuality is like watching a baby giraffe learn how to walk for the first time. Even the way he ?sits at the bar feels a little awkward. You would go over there and throw the poor guy a bone were it not for the threat of putting up with some very sloppy flirting. Don't feel too bad if you're the newbie, though. We've all been you at some point in our lives. Even though he's in a gay bar, he's not actually gay. You know this because it's the first thing he tells you. Then he tells it to you again. Then, after robotically standing with his arms at his side as though all the people around him were made of hot lava, he heads to the bar and orders the butchest beer he can think of in the lowest register voice he can muster. Little does he know that his discomfort with gayness only makes him sexier to the gay men around him. The other straight guy in the bar who's totally comfortable with everything there. In fact, he loves gay guys! He's not afraid to dance, or point out cute guys to you. He's basically a saint. He is a god among gays, who like Jesus, is willing to go to the outskirts of society and hang with the outcasts....That is until someone hits on him. After that, he turns into the Nervous Straight Guy faster than you can say "Bernie would have won." They seem nice and all, but....Why are they there? They have each other. Why would they willingly subject themselves to the loud music and crowded dancefloors that comprise a gay bar? Based on their PDA, it seems like they're most likely there to brag about the fact that they found someone. As they drunkenly kiss, you get a visceral disgust that makes you wonder if you're somehow homophobic. You soon realize that you're just bitter. Being gay can be hard, and as a result, homosexuals have developed strong sense of community where we want to help each other out. The Sympathizer takes this to an EXTREME. They're not gonna rest until everyone in this bar is happy and having fun! If they sense that you're struggling in anyway, they'll swoop in like a slightly less gay Batman and save the day. Will they fuck you? Heavens no. That's far beneath them. They will however point out random guys and tell you "You should talk to him!" Truly the heroes we need. ?? He sits at the bar and orders a red wine. The bartender goes to the back to find the wine glasses because nobody has ordered a red wine at a gay bar since the Carter Administration. He over compensates for his age by dressing in youthful clothes so cartoonish, that the only thing missing is a sideways cap on his head and a skateboard in his arm. He's probably having the time of his life, but you can't help but be saddened by the sight of him. You see yourself in him and the thought that you too might still be hitting up gay bars at his age is flat out depressing. (You're an ageist dick, btw.) read more
 
Date: 04.24.2017
1. "DWYCK" by Gang Starr (MC Guru) Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is I get more props and stunts than Bruce Willis Gang Starr is one of the most influential voices in hip hop history, and this song as a whole is amazing - which makes this infamous, bizarre, LFO-esque lyric all the more baffling. "Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is" alone would be enough to get this added to the list, but then using that to rhyme with a line about the number of props and stunts had by Bruce Willis is even more confusing. Is Bruce Willis known for having a lot of props? Does he do that many of his own stunts? It's not like he's Jackie Chan or anything. 2. "Ass Like That" by Eminem For I am Triumph the Puppet Dog, I am a mere puppet I can get away anything I say and you will love it! While Eminem has a lot of bad lyrics - both in terms of really regrettable, abusive ones and genuinely misguided ones (thinking namely of his assertion in 50 Cent's 'Patiently Waiting' that the 9/11 terrorists were aiming for Shady Records), but there's no more embarrassing set of lyrics than 'Ass Like That', Eminem's faux-feud diss track aimed at Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. It's hard to really gauge what's more embarrassing and lame - the idea of a sincere feud with a puppet, or the idea of a MADE-UP feud with a puppet as a joke. But the most offensive thing is that he calls Triumph the "Puppet Dog," instead of "Insult Comic Dog." C'mon, dude. 3. "Good Girls Gone Bad" by Drake Do it girl, I'll be your King, be a Queen Latifah I love ya ass like Milhouse love Lisa I love ya ass like the ninja turtles love pizza Ironically enough, you something I want a piece of Drake has a reputation as being a pop culture-savvy, more-sensitive-than-usual artist - and as a result, has a ton of incredibly embarrassing lyrics ("I can make your pussy whistle like the Andy Griffith theme song" would be included in this list if it wasn't so genuinely hilarious). But the above lyrics from Good Girls Gone Bad takes the cake - as each line is uniquely bad: Do it girl, I'll be your King, be a Queen Latifah It's been an open secret for ages that Queen Latifah would have no use for a King. I love ya ass like Milhouse love Lisa This is not a positive. I love ya ass like the ninja turtles love pizza The ninja turtles were not sexually attracted to pizza. Also you're a grown adult, Drake, not a seven year old on the playground. Ironically enough, you something I want a piece of Rhyming "pizza" with "piece of" is just bad and lazy. I would have expected more of Jimmy from DeGrassi. 4. Kanye West in "Gettin' It In" by Jadakiss Don't try to treat me like I ain't famous My apologies, are you into astrology Cause I'm, I'm tryin to make it to Uranus Kanye West - for all of his outsized personality and aggressive bravado - might really be the best modern artist in music. Each album is something new and exciting, each song is something personal and interesting - and all of his lyrics are memorable for some reason or another. Sometimes they're overly silly, sometimes they veer into tryhard territory - but every once in a while, they're just real stupid. In short: YOU MEAN "ASTRONOMY," KANYE. 5. "Glory" by Jay Z You're a child of destiny You're the child of my destiny You're my child with the child from Destiny's Child Listen, I appreciate Jay-Z was trying to make a nice song about his daughter and his wife. But c'mon, repeating the words "child" and "destiny" that many times in 3 lines should be punishable by - oh, I dunno - your wife publicly dragging you for your infidelities with an elaborate album / music video experiment or something. Oh wait, nevermind. 6. Nicki Minaj in "Beauty and a Beat" by Justin Bieber Justin Bieber, you know I'mma hit 'em with the ether Buns out, wiener, but I gotta keep an eye out for Selener Don't denigrate Nicki Minaj - she's able to spit absolute fire on the mic and has lasted way longer than her detractors ever would have imagined. But in these lyrics, I'm pretty sure she's saying she's going to drug and rape Justin Bieber? And then refers to his ex, Selena Gomez, as "Selener" to make her name sorta rhyme with "ether"? Oof. 7. "I Do This" by Young Jeezy 200 carats, now that's a f**king charm That's a lucky charm And I don't mean Corn Flakes. Uh, I don't think anyone thought you meant "Corn Flakes" when you were talking about lucky charms, Young Jeezy. That's...that's just a completely different, unrelated cereal entirely. 8. "Slob On My Knob" by Three Six Mafia Squeeze on my nuts, Lick on my butt. Three-Six Mafia deserves their Oscar, but....what the hell does "squeeze on my nuts, lick on my butt" even mean? I think I know what they're getting at, but that's probably the most awkward way of communicating this. *This entry was brought to you by a reminder that Three Six Mafia has an Oscar.* 9. "Nuthin' but a G Thang" by Dr. Dre Never let me slip, cuz if I slip, then I'm slippin Did you think I forgot about Dre? Because I would never do that. Never let me forget about Dre, cuz if I forget about Dre, then I'm forgetting about Dre. read more
 
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