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College Humor

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It's sometimes stupid, sometimes intelligent but always funny! College Humor offers quick links to amusing pictures and videos that will have you rolling!
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Tons of hot college chicks and humorous multi-media files for download inside! Plus tons of pop culture and celebrity talk to keep you occupied! This is the cream of the crop variety blog, there are so many out there but none can surpass the quality of the good folks at College Humor! They also feature articles, games, and other hot items on the blog that you simply can't miss!
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Date: 03.23.2017
This is fine! For the best. Totally. Okay. You can't even finish this sentence before the hit of ... Mourn the death of the relationship and the future you planned together. Add alcohol. Repeat. Okay, mourning over. Grab your freakum dress and f-me pumps ?(or your clothing preference equivalent) and celebrate your newfound singlehood. Add alcohol and friends. Repeat. That bartender looks JUST like your ex ... if they were 10 years older, had face tattoos, and a nose job. You two just didn't work out! You both just weren't compatible and in a place to be in a serious relationship right now. Time to move o-- WAIT WHAT. The person formerly known as "I'm just not looking for anything serious right now" is all over social media with a new love interest only a week after your breakup? Did they cheat? Does this mean they cheated on their previous ex with you? So everything was just a lie then, huh! You are just THAT easy to get over. Cool cool cool. Who is this new person? How do they already have so many photos together? How do they look so happy? What's so much better about this relationship than your relationship? THEY'RE MEETING THE PARENTS ALREADY?! THEY MUST BE OVERCOMPENSATING, RIGHT?! Whatever. Maybe they cheated. Maybe they didn't. Who cares. Your life is better without 'em. ? Your ex has a sixth sense for knowing when you have gotten over them. Their rebound relationship must have ended 'cause you got that "Hey, I'm sorry for how things ended. Coffee?" ? If you say no, achieve ... ? You finally did it!!! Now repeat with someone new. Save Save read more
 
Date: 03.22.2017
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Date: 03.22.2017
Answer: Fingernails are designed to help you grab stuff! Fingernails are kinda like the pubes of the hands: They're seemingly useless, you only really notice them when they're not trimmed properly, and they can be quite scratchy at times. Have you ever stopped to wonder what the fuck these things are good for? Besides looking pretty.? The obvious answer seems to be that fingernails are just the remnants of our ancestor's claws, but actually that's not the case...well, not totally anyway. Though they share a lot in common, fingernails are more than just vestigial claws. They're more like claws that have been modified for our own personal needs.?Mammals who have fingernails (mostly primates) are also the most likely to grip things.?Whereas mammals with claws tend to dig around in the dirt and shit, like a bunch of morons, those of us with fingernails take the more sophisticated approach to life by climbing trees and using tools. Absolutely classless. As badass as a couple of Sandslash claws would make me look to one of my enemies, it would make holding onto a broom a whole hell of a lot more difficult. ?Fingernails, however, not only facilitate in holding things, but also serve as tiny little shields for the tips of your fingers, which would be otherwise weathered by overuse.? Without fingernails, the ends of our hands would probably look like a pencil that's been sharpened one too many times. Think about that next time you get nervous and chew on them! Answer: Eyebrows protect your eyes and help with communication.? If I hadn't already used it in the last section, I'd be saying that eyebrows are the pubes of the face right now, because honestly that makes more sense. (Pro tip: If you're ever wondering if someone's carpet matches the drapes, eyebrow color will tell you everything you need to know.) Of all your body parts, eyebrows seem to be the most useless. Honestly, you only seem to notice that they exist when they're not there. See: Whoopi Goldberg. In reality, eyebrows are the unsung heroes of the face, serving a couple functions that you never knew about. The first is a physical function. Eyebrows are kinda like a built in rain gutters for your face, designed to keep moisture from dripping into your eyes.?If it weren't for you eyebrows, you'd get WAY more sweat in your eyes everytime you ran and WAY more water in your eyes everytime it rained. Pretty cool for such a dumb body part, huh? Cooler still is eyebrows other function:?They aid us in communication. Take a look at these two beautiful drawings: Can you believe I drew them myself?? Do you know which one is the angry one? Of course you do, and literally the only thing I changed is the eyebrows. ?A lot of human emotion is expressed through the face, and eyebrows make it easier to read what those emotions are. Think about how much easier it is to make out a raised eyebrow than it would be to rely solely on the subtle changes of someone's skin wrinkles. You don't realize it but you say a lot with your eyebrows everyday! All of this just goes to show how amazing Whoopi Goldberg's acting is, because even without her brows, nobody does emotion like Whoopi. Answer: You blush because of adreneline. Unlike the last two things we talked about, blushing is in no way like pubes. Instead, it's an unfortunate bodily response that makes everyone around you know that you're embarassed. It's one of the weirder things our body does, when you think about it. Why do we need a way to signal that we're embarrassed and why does that way involve our skin changing color? I ain't no damn lizard!? Well it turns out that blushing is you a sign that your freaking the freak out about something on a very primal level. Basically, blushing occurs when someone's fight or flight response is triggered.When this happens, adrenaline is released into the bloodstream and affects the veins in your face, causing it to turn red. For a more indepth explanation, you can watch this video because it explains it way better than I ever could. Basically, you're reacting to accidentally farting in front of your crush in the same way that your ancestors reacted to an encounter with a sabertooth tiger. Answer: You breathe it out. If you're like me, you probably always thought that you gain and lose weight depending on how much you poop. If you're not an idiot, though, you probably know that's not the case. When talking about losing weight we often say that we "burn" it off, but that can't be literal right? As far as I can tell, the only fire that's ever been in my belly is the one driving my dreams of becoming a professional dancer. I think I'm gonna be a star! As it turns out, even though we don't combust, we are actually burning fat off when we lose weight. As most of you probably already know, fat is primarily stored energy. When you consume more calories than you need, your body converts them into stored fat for later use.When you eventually need these calories, your body converts them into energy and the stored fat is burned off. (If you're curious, there are about 3,500 calories in a pound of fat, so if you give yourself a deficiency of about 500 calories a day, you'll burn about a pound a week. Disappointing, right?) Only 600 more years until my goal weight. You probably already know most of this stuff, but there's still one piece of the equation missing. The energy you burn is not that heavy, so just burning energy wouldn't really result in all that much weight loss. You're losing other stuff too, but what is it and where does it go??Well the answer involves a very boring chemistry equation that, frankly, I don't know how to write using our site's word processor. The gist of it is that the fat combines with oxygen and produces energy, water and carbon dioxide. Strangely enough, the majority of this mass is comprised of the carbon dioxide meaning that you actually breath most of the weight out. The small amount of mass comprised of water is expelled from the body through pee, sweat, and, yes, even poop. ? Answer: The wrinkles help them maintain temperature.? When I die and go to heaven, the first thing I do is gonna be to ask God why he made balls so weird looking. I imagine He might cast me out into hell, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. I think that if we were to sit everyone in the world down and force them to agree on one thing, it would be that nutsacks are dumb. All they're dangly, and wrinkly, and kind of make your taint look like it's melting? Surely, there's a better way to store your baby juice, right? A Jar Perhaps? Well, no, actually. Like most of our body parts, there's a lot really complex stuff going on in the design of the scrote. Testicles are like your most annoying friend on a roadtrip: their temperature needs to be regulated constantly. Your balls need to be cool and that's why they loiter on the outside instead of sweltering internally. Your body is the testes' equivalent of a hot car in summer. Your prissy little nuts' sensitivity to heat doesn't end there. If you've ever sat and watched a scrotum for a long time, as I have on many a rainy day, you'll notice that they're constantly moving up and down. This too is to help regulate the heat of the testes, and this movement is possible due to Dartos, a layer of connective beneath the skin. Though it sounds like the name of some majestic Greek God, the Dartos is actually responsible for giving balls their trademark wrinkled appearance. The balls are an ugly reminder that no matter how ugly it gets, the human body is fascinatingly complex.? read more
 
Date: 03.22.2017
One of the great dilemmas of online life that no one really talks about is "risky links." By that I mean links that you are genuinely afraid of clicking because of where they might lead - someone tells you you should NEVER google 'degloving' and sends you a link...do you click it? Well, you're kinda morbidly curious at this point, so - even though you KNOW you'll regret it - you just HAVE to click that link to satisfy your curiosity. But what if there was another option? What if there was someone who would click on the links FOR YOU and tell you how bad it is and whether you really need to see it or not? Who would tell you exactly what's in there using words so you don't have to have the horrifying image of a degloving accident burned into your mind forever? That person exists: a redditor who goes by (appropriately enough) u/ClicksOnLinks. Whenever you're browsing reddit, all you need to do is simply summon ClicksOnLinks in the comments of any thread by typing out their name - and like magic, they'll show up, click on the risky link, and tell you what it is. You can decide from there whether you want to click it too (hint: you usually don't wanna click it). We were amazed to find this person out there, giving up their time (free of charge) to offer some of the least-glamorous services imaginable - and we wanted to find out the story behind this. Here's our interview with u/ClicksOnLinks (with a few samples of their works sprinkled throughout to give you a sense of their heroic efforts and sacrifices): You're doing a pretty cool service for reddit that is very useful to people, but at the expense of having to view NSFW/NSFL content regularly. What made you want to volunteer your time to do this? ClicksOnLinks: I started this project of mine when the industry in which I work had taken a downturn, I found myself having a lot of extra time on my hands and spent the vast majority of it on Reddit.? After encountering several comments containing links that folks had expressed a concern on clicking, I had taken it upon myself to find out what was on the other side and relayed that information to everyone afraid of clicking them. I am very desensitized, so I went for it, I figured I could put my superpower to good use. After this scenario had played out multiple times I had the idea to make the account and started clicking on links for folks.? What's been the general reddit reaction to you? Do people thank you for your time and effort? ClicksOnLinks:?The reaction has been positive, a bit overwhelming at times, but very positive. At first I expected maybe a few people per week calling on my services, but I think it was after people started paging me to some of the more disturbing posts on subs like WTF and such that it really started to take off,?I didn't do very much advertising, aside from a funny copypasta I came up with that I'd post every now and then when someone would comment on a risky click, so it took some time. As far as people thanking me, almost everyone does, every now and then you get someone who doesn't so much as give a single reply but that's okay with me. My partner actually mentioned earlier today how surprised they were how thankful everyone had been. How much time per day were you spending clicking on links for people? How often were people summoning you? ClicksOnLinks:?I'm a bit of an insomniac I usually only sleep 4-5 hours per night, when I am awake and not preoccupied by my job or my family I was pretty much always online, but even when I was busy I was trying to check reddit at least every hour. Toward the beginning I may have received a single summon per week and I was super excited when I did. Lately it ranges from a few times per day to dozens when stuff like the "what's the worst thing you've seen on the internet" r/AskReddit threads that occasionally pop up hit the front page.? What kind of stuff did you get asked to click on the most? ClicksOnLinks:?This image of Peyton Manning: ? Are there any kinds of links that you WON'T click on? ClicksOnLinks:? If I have even the slightest reason to believe it contains child porn, there's absolutely no way I'm clicking that.? Other than that though, no, not really. Is there an emotional toll to being summoned to click on the kinds of things that people are genuinely afraid to click on themselves? ClicksOnLinks:?Most definitely, I've forced myself to see some pretty horrible things, most don't have any kind of effect but some I see for days when I close my eyes. Fortunately those are very rare. What was the worst thing you'd ever seen when being asked to click on a link? ClicksOnLinks:?I would have to say the video of a young girl hanging herself. I've seen brutal torture videos, horrible accidents, countless deaths but this one video messed with my head for days. ? What was the best thing you'd ever seen? ClicksOnLinks:?It's definitely this video someone sent me months ago I don't know why but that video cracks me up every time. Do people ever summon you to click on nice happy things, like r/UpliftingNews or r/WholesomeMemes? If not, do you wish they would? ClicksOnLinks:?Never to those subs but I commonly get linked to photos of kittens and puppies and all kinds of baby animals, usually with a comment along the lines of "you see so much fucked up stuff, heres a [insert name of baby animal here]" Well, I just want to say thank you for your work - it's a genuinely helpful service you're offering to strangers at your own expense. That's incredibly admirable. Also can you describe what a "blue waffle" is? ClicksOnLinks:?No problem! I enjoy being helpful. Haha, sure. Blue waffle is(was?) A shocksite with an image of a vagina with a gnarly, crusty yeast infection. Said vagina had a blueish coloration, hence the name "blue waffle". Definitely NSFW. I will be sure to tag you to look at cute puppy pics whenever I'm browsing r/Aww. ClicksOnLinks:?I'd appreciate that, sometimes I need a break from all the dead babies and degloved hands. Thank you for doing what you do. read more
 
Date: 03.21.2017
Someone asked Reddit for short, clean jokes that get a laugh every time, and Reddit provided.?We took the liberty of illustrating some of them for your viewing pleasure.In this world of chaos and heartbreak, here's a few wholesome chuckles:1. 2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9. read more
 
Date: 03.20.2017
We have a theory: Donald Trump was visited by a future-version of himself back around 2010 - and was horrified by the bad publicity and scandalous nature of what Future-Trump told him. He knew he had to find a way to warn Future-Trump and the people of America against these self-destructive behaviors - but how? The answer: to tweet criticisms of then-President Barack Obama about?his?behaviors. 1. Vacationing too much Towards the end of Barack Obama's first term as President, Past-Donald Trump would regularly tweet about his vacationing habits - and trying to warn his future self about falling into the same traps... President @BarackObama's vacation is costing taxpayers millions of dollars----Unbelievable! -- Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 5, 2012 The habitual vacationer, @BarackObama, is now in Hawaii. This vacation is costing taxpayers $4 milion +++ ?while there is 20% unemployment. -- Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 27, 2011 Sadly, Future-Trump failed to heed Past-Trump's warnings, per this?recent headline from The Independent: 2. Golfing too much Past-Trump must have known what was in store for his future self - perhaps a time-traveler from 2017 returned to the past to tell Past-Trump about the failings of Future-Trump and that he had to warn himself? Or perhaps he just received an ominous vision or dream? We may never know. Can you believe that,with all of the problems and difficulties facing the U.S., President Obama spent the day playing golf.Worse than Carter -- Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 14, 2014 President Obama has a major meeting on the N.Y.C. Ebola outbreak, with people flying in from all over the country, but decided to play golf! -- Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 24, 2014 While our wonderful president was out playing golf all day, the TSA is falling apart, just like our government! Airports a total disaster! -- Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 21, 2016 President Obama played golf yesterday??? -- Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 18, 2013 Sadly, we must live in a fixed timeline, per this headline from New York Daily News: ...and this tweet from golfing outlet No Laying Up: Rory McIlroy played 18 holes with @realDonaldTrump this weekend at Trump International https://t.co/kfVBvZHJNY pic.twitter.com/1s6onRK0g7 -- No Laying Up (@NoLayingUp) February 20, 2017 3. Touting the Electoral College Past-Trump saw the dangers of the electoral college that would allow Future-Trump to become president and did everything in his power to warn the people... The electoral college is a disaster for a democracy. -- Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 7, 2012 Past-Trump even for armed revolution when it looked like Obama was poised to win the Electoral College but lose the popular vote to Mitt Romney: Too. Freaking. Perfect. When Trump wrongly thought Romney had won the popular vote. pic.twitter.com/e9tJO7mhcB -- Brendan Reichs (@BrendanReichs) November 10, 2016 Sadly, Future-Trump had forgotten all the lessons he learned from his past self: The Electoral College is actually genius in that it brings all states, including the smaller ones, into play. Campaigning is much different! -- Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 15, 2016 4. Skipping intelligence briefings Past-Trump attempted to give himself some pertinent advice for the future... Fact--Obama does not read his intelligence briefings nor does he get briefed in person by the CIA or DOD. Too busy I guess! -- Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 30, 2014 But Future-Trump had long forgotten his past self's warning, per this?headline from Business Insider: And another from USA Today: 5. Abusing executive orders Past-Trump, in a desperate attempt to curb the ever-growing levels of power wielded by the executive branch that would one day be his undoing, tweeted the following: Why is @BarackObama constantly issuing executive orders that are major power grabs of authority? This is the latest http://t.co/4IVBckTE -- Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 10, 2012 Sadly,?some things cannot be avoided: read more
 
Date: 03.20.2017
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Date: 03.20.2017
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Date: 03.17.2017
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Date: 03.19.2017
Want full comics in your Facebook feed? Follow?Noob the Loser?and?CHartoons?on Facebook.? Want to catch up on all the Ben & Steph comics??Read the archive, or keep scrolling! read more
 
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