UK HANDJOBS REVIEW

 
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Site Rating (2.7)
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Site Promises***/*
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Site Usability****
3
Content Amount**
4
Content Quality****
5
Updates Frequency*
6
Users Rating***/*
 
Total Rating**/*

UK Handjobs

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If you like your handjobs rough., then you'll fit right in at this madhouse, because the babes are like pugilists and the dicks are like punching bags.
Site type: Pay site, category: Cum Shots, Hardcore, Handjob
Complete review published on 11.30.2013
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[v]Intro promises(3.5)

Visit UK Handjobs
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UK Handjobs is a new site that, so far as I can see, has loads of potential. They've gathered together a small but highly varied group of U.K. models, all willing to use and abuse some poor bloke's uncircumcised dick. The tour samples look promising, as do the guarantees of HD content, regularly recurring updates, and a network compromised of 17+ sites adding up to over 3,600 videos and 160,000+ photographs.

[v]Content Amount(2)Last updated on January 31, 2014.

Videos:
Over 32 videos about 20 minutes each (download and stream)
DRM: No restrictions
+ Full Movies, Multi-Bandwidth
Format:
MPEG-4 (2600kb/s, 720x540)
MPEG-4 (2000kb/s, 640x480)
MPEG-4 (700kb/s, 480x360)
iPod/PSP (1600kb/s, 640x480)
iPod/PSP (2000kb/s, 720x540)
Pictures:
Over 32 galleries about 80 pictures each
+ Zip archives
Extra:
Bonus Sites, Model Index

[v]PricesLast updated on January 31, 2014.

19.99€ / one month (recurring)
$44.99 / three months (recurring)
$89.99 / six months (non-recurring)
Billings: EZbill, VXSBill
Payment options: Credit Cards

[v]Impression(4)


The members area is a little overwhelming looking and, at first glance, you might think mistakenly think there's a lot more content than there actually is. That's because the main page includes links to network wide updates. In addition, clicking "photos" or "videos" in the main menu gives you much the same result. However, you'll notice that at the top of the page there's a row of links with a button under them marked "View all UK Handjobs updates." Not to mention there's a drop-down menu that allows for viewing content by website, anyway. And I suppose that any minor initial confusion is more than made up for by the flexible layout features which encompasses the entire network.

For instance, any archive can be viewed in regular or reverse chronological order, as well as then more standard options such as "most viewed" or "highest rated." And if that's not enough, they've got over 50 filthy niche filters to choose from, too. Going back to the dates, though, the first thing I noticed was that the site got its start just two short months ago. So, they've naturally not had enough time to really amass a large body of work. In fact, there's only 32 scenes and sets on the site, altogether. But that's okay, because what they have given us really did exceed all my highest hopes and expectations.

First off, I'm absolutely in love with these models. They're all quick witted, fast on their feet, and willing to verbally and physically abuse our protagonists uncut cock. The plot varies from episode to episode, but there is a bit of a formula; we can always count on the guy to do something to royally piss these girls off, which results in him getting an extremely painful and awesome! looking handjob. Just seeing these girls who come in all shapes, sizes, and ages masterfully degrading the poor bastard is enough to get my dick hard, but the actual physical abuse and I'm talking flicking, slapping, and literally punching the dick, which, by the way, results in a loud thud really puts this material over the top. In short, I was bloody well impressed.

Just to give you a clearer picture of the content, though, I'll briefly describe a few scenes. The first I watched featured an extremely hot blonde with a cockney accent who, once realizing a strange man was spying on her while she slept(or so he thought), decides to "punish" him with a painful looking handjob. In yet another scene, our protagonist calls an escort up to his hotel room, then when she arrives, ridicules her appearance telling her that she's too "fat and old" to please him, and that he might get off if he can "pretend she's a skinny girl." Needless to say, this didn't go over well, and the once mild mannered and timid prostitute is morphed into a vile, cock-slapping bitch. I love it!

Another huge plus is the high quality of the content. Scenes usually run over 20 minutes, and in addition to being well acted(yes, I said it) and filmed, they also come in multiple resolutions in both mobile and PC friendly MPEG-4 files. And, though galleries are certainly not the main focus of the site, each video does come with one, which usually contains 100+ photographs with a great nice high resolution and surprisingly good quality.

Of course, no site is perfect, and this one is certainly not without is flaws. In addition to navigation having a bit of a megasite feel which is pretty unavoidable considering that it is, in fact, part of a megasite the lack of content is hard to overlook. This would naturally be pretty easy to ignore, but I'm seeing a mildly disturbing trend in their update schedule. The site launched in October and dumped several updates that month. Things slowed down in November, though, with only one update coming in, followed by only two in December. At their current pace, it'll take a good while for this site alone to merit the price of admission. However, this is an extremely small sample size and it is the holidays, so it'd be unfair to rush to judgement just yet.

The most disturbing of all that I noticed, however, was a number of mislabeled videos. The download options list 720p and 1080p resolutions, but once you get to the actual download drop-box, you're given the choice between 540, 480, and 360p. I'm not sure if this is just some sort of error, or if these are, in fact, the only choices available. If the latter, that's doubly disappointing. Especially since this is a network-wide occurrence.

On the bright side, the whole low content thing is a moot, anyway, when there's over 18 bonus sites to choose from, including real winners like Slime Wave and Drunk Sex Orgy, you shouldn't exactly be bored between updates, anyway. Not unless you can wade your way through over 3,600 movies and 160,000 photos in a few weeks.

Plus, if you spring for the second membership package, you'll get even more perks: including live teen cams with full model interaction.

[v]Conclusion(2.7)

Being a brand-spanking-new site, UK Handjobs is understandably low on content. And with their current archive, it is, quite honestly, hard to justify the current price of admission based on the site's merits alone. However, I think the uniqueness and extremely high quality of the content combined with the massive bonuses is more than enough to make up for this temporary deficit. Trust me, these scenes are well done and unquestionably hot.
Inspector: BeerhatMcfly
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