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Word Oyster

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This amusing little blog has a little bit of entertainment, a little bit of humor, a little bit of current events, and a whole lotta erotica! Sex talk and hot pics at Word Oyster!
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The Word Oyster is full of musings, humor, erotica, and even sexual education lessons! It's frequently updated with posts that are too interesting to pass up! You'll find yourself lost for hours within its pages! Plus with the picture of the day and all of their great links to other wonderful blogs, how can you go wrong? So if you ever wondered when National Masturbation Week falls or you need a guide on how to give a better blowjob, check out Word Oyster!
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[v]Latest Word Oyster news
Date: 04.24.2014
Here`s the thing. I`ve been fighting my blogging software for two years now. It`s so bad that I can`t manage to post an entire entry (see the "Wake Up" entry below... it`s missing the last half and I can`t fix it) and can`t predict when (or if) I can post anything. So, I`m probably abandoning Movable Type and trying something different. It may not happen until May. Or I may just decide to take the plunge (something particularly fun to do when I have way too much work to do and no free time to devote to learning a new CMS). Anyhoo, check back if you find the site down. It may take me a little effort to get everything in its proper place. Congratulations, Kansas! Good game. Memphis, maybe you should spend your summer shooting free throws. read more
Date: 04.24.2014
I admit it. I messed up the April Fools theme photos. They didn't post automatically and I didn't notice until it was too late. But I've got the next month all taken care of ahead of time. So here are the upcoming Photo of the Day theme weeks: * April Showers (April 6 to 12) Not rain. The other showers. And bathtubs. While it's raining outside, you might as well get clean. * Helping Hands (April 13 to 19) Actually, it's more like helping handjobs. If you get inspired, go help someone with your hands. * Spring Flowers (April 20 to 26) After April showers, you get May flowers. OK, fine. I'm a week early. * Say Cheese (April 27 to May 3) Photos taken of themselves. Why else do bathrooms and closet doors have such large mirrors? Last chance to see all of these coeds' dorm rooms before they go home for the summer. You may now resume your spring cleaning. read more
Date: 04.24.2014
Even though there was ice on the driveway yesterday morning. Even though there is still snow melting beneath the hedges. Even though the town's salt trucks and snow plows still stand at the ready for at least another three weeks. Even though the trees haven't budded and the crocuses have barely poked their heads through the dirt. Even though the robin in the backyard looks lost and lonely and the squirrels look thin and daring. Even though the only spring peeper I've heard quickly gave up finding a mate and went back to sleep. Even though all this says it's still winter... I say it's spring. And in spring, a man's fancy (whatever that is) turns to thoughts of love. Or sex. Mostly sex, actually. Sex with you, specifically. Failing that, sex with her or her or her. But yes, first and with all due fidelity, sex with you. Now. Please. Didn't you hear me say I'm calling it spring? Slow, languorous sex while buds on the trees pop open over our heads like popcorn. Me inside you, smelling spring rain in the distance, feeling the new grass on my skin, feeling your skin on my skin, feeling the sweet slickness of you wrapped around me, our read more
Date: 04.24.2014
Where does the time go? As I valiantly try to get back here to do some writing that isn't just about work and putting meat on the table (just an expression... I'm trying to cut down), I managed yesterday to find a little time to assemble a bunch of new entries for "Photo of the Day." And just because I thought it might be fun, I've decided to run the new photos in themed groups, running Sunday to Saturday. Here are the themes for the next few weeks: * Let's Thaw (March 9 to 15) A nod of the head and a tip of the erection to the arrival of daylight savings time and (hopefully soon) spring (Northern Hemisphere only... if you're in Australia, you'll have to make up ways for the photos to go with autumn). * Go Green (March 16 to 22) More spring, with a little added green flavor because of St. Patrick's Day. * Out Like a Lamb (March 23 to 29) Bondage-themed photos in keeping with March going out a little more subdued than it comes in. * April Fools (March 30 to April 5) Who says sex isn't occasionally silly or that you can't see people smile when they're naked? If you have any photos you think would fit an upcoming theme and want to share, please send them along and I'll try to fit them in. Assuming I don't run off with the first robin I see. read more
Date: 04.24.2014
I sent out an email yesterday to lots of my regular readers, wishing them a happy holiday season. But I somehow suspect that the email may have gotten eaten by spam filters, either on the sending side or on the receiving side. So, to the folks I emailed and to the rest of you, here is my holiday greeting for one and all. It's not safe for work. But then, neither is this site. (On the other hand, I am perfectly safe for work. You may invite me for lunch any old time.) read more
Date: 04.24.2014
The look and coding for this poem was shamelessly stolen from "digital writer" Chris Joseph. My apologies to Chris for putting "cocks" and "nipples" in his otherwise interesting Flash work, but I've been wanting to learn how to do something like this and it gave me the opportunity to actually get under the hood and tinker with source files. Now maybe I can try learn how to do my own from scratch. read more
Date: 04.24.2014
Can you believe that November's almost over? What the hell? I was just getting the hang of August. I'm sitting here listening to the FoxyFM Live365 station. They just played a couple of very hot erotic stories. They alternate stories and music, all definitely for mature audiences. Of course, right now they're playing Britney Spears's I'm a Slave 4 U . And that would be fine and innocuous and barely noticable, but it's only been one day since the news wires reported the story about Britney's secret sex room. I'm having a little trouble keeping a straight face. Fur-trimmed handcuffs? Metal bed frame? Schoolgirl outfit? I didn't burst out laughing until they mentioned that sometimes, she likes to entertain wearing a Cinderella outfit. Oh, my. Anyway, check out the FoxyFM feed sometime. "My neck. My back. Lick my pussy. Lick my crack." You just don't get song lyrics like that on public radio. What other links do I have to share today? There's an interesting story on Japan's Wai Wai about people with pubic hair fetishes. bq. "Nagano went to bars and cabarets and asked hostesses for samples. After plying them with a few drinks, he'd make his pitch, saying, 'I want your pubic hair.' Offering a 10,000-yen tip as an incentive, the gals would excuse themselves, slip into the powder room, and return to the table and pass him the goodies... " And, for the visually inclined, check out the links site NotAboutLove. In the Nudes Portfolios section, you'll find lots of links to photographers' web sites... stuff you're likely to have not run into before. For example, check out the work of photographer Ludovic Goubet. Very nice. That's all for now. I have to go have a heart-to-heart discussion with my calendar. read more
Date: 04.24.2014
Well, I never did figure out how to use the latest Movable Type templates. But I got the old templates and design to work, so that's good enough for me. And, just to prove it's me, the first thing I'm posting after my unfortunate absence is a poem, written specifically for the purpose as I nursed a headcold this morning and tried not to think about how much I need to rake leaves. if snakes had hips Hand. Hip. Touch. Grip. What we have is this unspoken signal, A familiar sign visible in light or dark, As clear under bedtime covers as it is When we??re bare naked, buzzed on champagne, Fucking in the recessed lighting of our quiet midnight den. When I feel your hand grasp my hip bone, I know That tonight you want to feel The hard slap of my balls between your legs That you want friction first and foremost, The shallow in-and-out, a fast and steady rhythm, And save that deep thrust shit for after you??ve come. Of course, it works both ways. Tonight it could be my hand on your hip, suggesting you flip over, hug the pillow, Nuzzle your breasts against the sheet Brace yourself and raise your pussy To take me in, take it all the way. Then one hand becomes two hands, And I grip your hips, pulling you back into Each forward push, my hip bones meeting your ass In a thump afer thump, vibrations passing deep inside. Hip. Hand. Hand. Hip. Back and forth, again and again. # # # # # Hear this poem read aloud... read more
Date: 04.24.2014
I honestly don`t mind tinkering with Web sites as a rule. HTML, CSS, and all of these funky little Movable Type tags are a nice distraction from my usual work, which is more along the lines of stringing together nouns, verbs, adjectives, and the occasional misplaced adverb. But I much prefer to have a choice about how much Web site tinkering I`m going to do and when. Which brings me to October, 2007. The host server for _Word Oyster_ got hit with a denial of service attack at the end of September. This prompted my service provider to move me to a new server, put up some more and different protection, and so on. Sounds like a good idea, right? Except that they hosed my database in the process and installed a newer version on the new server. Bottom line? One year after having to rebuild the site from the ground up... I`m having to do it again. So, that`s where I`m at. I`m on a new server. I`ve switched to a better database. I`ve made the leap up to Movable Type 4. I`ve reimported all of my old entries. The site won`t rebuild properly, which is making me a bit insane and is leaving me with this generic design, not my own. It`s a work in progress. Thanks for the encouragement. read more
Date: 04.24.2014
Another year, another birthday. Actually, it's not just any birthday. This is a "BIG ONE." You know, one of those decade marker birthdays that have special sections in the Hallmark aisle of the pharmacy and scary selections of products in the party supply store? Yes, one of those birthdays. Groan. Not that I don't normally wallow in a stew of my own existential angst on every birthday (and sometimes New Years). I mean, where's that goddamned novel? And what have I done for humanity lately? And why doesn't Scarlett Johansson ever call? (This is where Jill, someone I know who died of cancer when she was very young, should come back and bitch slap me until I embrace my inner gray hair.) I have no idea who this woman is in this photo. But I like her thumb ring and the way she's biting her lip while she tries to carry a lit cupcake. Note that the cupcake does not have more than one candle and certainly not a number of candles that is a multiple of ten. It's understated and much less of a fire hazard. (And if Kelly ever stops back by here, she can tell you stories about the erotic potential of cupcakes.) Have a great Labor Day weekend! I'm off to Maine for Sunday brunch and some quality ocean watching. read more
Inspector: P.J.
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