Naked News

Finding your way around Naked News is a breeze. Instead of cluttering the site with needless buttons and navigational gizmos, they opted for a more simple approach, providing members with a very clean, very simple layout. The main menu, which sits atop the page, sticks to the bare necessities: Blog, Anchors, and Archives. And directly below you'll find the current broadcast simply a click away in a sleek embedded player, complete with a handy timeline. And just below that, links to the week's featured stories, current anchors, and quite a few extras.

So, with no shoddy navigation to hamper me, I clicked the first link I saw and found myself completely and utterly engrossed in current affairs. Well, sort of. It seemed I caught the broadcast in the midst of a fluff piece; a fully nude and undeniably gorgeous anchor was broadcasting via satellite from a quaint little watering hole in Jamaica, learning how to mix a few local drinks from a very eager, and noticeably nervous, local bartender. Soon enough, though, I was watching coverage of a much more grim nature, just as one would expect from the mainstream media. Except, of course, for one welcome change: the nudity. Yes, that made all that rotten news much, much easier to swallow indeed.

To be honest, I was taken aback by just how professional and, well, "news-like" everything looked and sounded. The editorials were well written and thorough — certainly good enough to stay abreast of current events. In fact, one could very well ditch their local or even national news in favor of this, so far as that is concerned. You'd still be just as well informed. Perhaps better since you, no doubt, wouldn't be able to take your eyes off the screen. Either way, they've done a splendid job of mimicking the big networks.

Indeed, from the video quality to the graphics to the banks of monitors and split-screen satellite interviews, everything looks totally legitimate. The only major difference, really, is the nudity. Speaking of which, it would have been simple enough to just pick any old gal who was pleasing to the eyes, throw her in front of a teleprompter, and tell her to strip. Fortunately, they didn't take the easy route. Au contraire, these beauties sound every bit as competent and professional as the ones you'd see on any of the major networks.

Altogether there have been 38 anchors, 10 of which are currently still active. It's worth noting that each of these beautiful broadcasters has her own page, which in addition to a list of vital statistics and a brief bio, includes a nice assortment of high-res(667 × 1,000 pixels) screen caps from their various segments. These women are truly high-caliber hotties, a few of them even having posed for Playboy and Maxim magazine, and more than a few of whom you might recognize from some of the hotter porn titles on the market. The fact that they're also great at delivering the news is just the icing on the cake. Oh, and I think it's worth noting that they're a diverse bunch, too. In addition to quite a few young, damn near flawless babes, they've also included a few MILFs, which means their anchors as well rounded as the broad range of topics they tackle.

And while we're on the subject, I'm happy to report that all of their more recent coverage can be streamed or downloaded in dazzling 1080p HD. In fact, both streaming and direct downloads are offered in your choice of 1080p, 720p and 480p MPEG-4 files. They were also thoughtful enough to give you the option of downloading an entire day's broadcast or, if you'd prefer, a lone segment. And for those of you trying to catch up on current events, you should be happy to know that there's a whole archive of programs and segments going back as far as 2011.

Alas, that's just about where the good news ends.

One of this site's more glaring flaws is that the bulk of its archives are not available in HD. It seems they made they made the switch from a rather average looking SD format(640 x 480 MPEG-4) to their current slick, high-def look on November 12th, 2013. And while this is, without doubt, a welcome change, perhaps it came a bit late, because out of out of the 2482 segments on the site, only 314 of them can be viewed in high-definition quality. What a shame. Still, though, it's understandable and, honestly, easy enough to overlook.

But one thing I can't understand — much less overlook — is leaving out hundreds, perhaps thousands, of perfectly watchable segments.

You see, if one were to go by the accessible archive in the members' area, they could easily come to the conclusion that this site got its start December 1st, 2011. That is, however, simply not the case. Truth be told, they were broadcasting their own sexy brand of the news as early as 2000. Why they've chosen to deny us the chance to view their earliest broadcasts is beyond me. All I do know is, it is disappointing. Absurdly low video quality be damned, I want to see how they handled events like September 11th and the resulting war on Afghanistan. And I think we can all agree that such an historic event as the inauguration of the first black president of the United States of America could only be made better by the addition of some high-grade T&A.

On the bright side, they've included a lot in the way of extras. In addition to 74 auditions showing would-be anchors who didn't quite make the grade — but nevertheless still had to read the news whilst stark naked — you also get access to over 80 Mr. Skin videos, which I think are best described as highlight reels of the crème de la crème of celebrity nudity in film — everything from Sharon Stone's infamous gash flash in Basic Instinct to Halle Berry's delightfully graphic sex scene with Billy Bob Thornton in Monster's Ball.